I am old and retired, but I don’t feel that I should appear to others like I’m old and retired…
8/27/24
I am old and retired, but I don’t feel that I should appear to others like I’m old and retired, especially not old enough for people to look at me like an old grandpa – although I could easily be somebody’s grandpa at this point. But, I do realize in my first few months of retirement that I have accidentally played the role of an old man a couple times and likely appear much older in the eyes of some observers than I actually am. [My hair is a lot whiter than it was 10 years ago when people were already assuming I was retired!]
We rarely go into a grocery store anymore, instead opting for curbside pickup offered by most grocery chains these days. I do go into the store more often than my wife does, typically to get something we forgot on our pickup list or that was out of stock at that time. Also, as part of maintaining my status as ‘husband of the year’, I will venture inside annually for supplies to make my wife a birthday cake.
Recently, I made some in-store purchases for my mother-in-law (items my wife didn’t want to admit to her she had missed on her list) and for some appropriate post-procedure foods for my wife – more points scored for the ‘husband of the year’!). On these occasions, I went into the store during work week daytime hours and I quickly observed that the shoppers during these times consisted mainly of older couples, a few old men without women, several old women without men, and many mothers with toddlers in tow.
- After picking up some items on my list, I found myself walking up and down the outside lanes looking for help from signs above each aisle. Eventually, after unsuccessfully searching for yogurt near other dairy items like cottage cheese, cream cheese, and milk – where I would anticipate yogurt to be stored – I asked a very young female employee that was stocking dairy products for assistance. She advised where the yogurt selection was (in the cooler aisles in the middle of the store for some reason – a location that didn’t make sense to her either) and I went on my way. I didn’t talk to her about weather or inflation or how milk used to be delivered to the front porch – items I would expect old men typically discuss with random employees to extend their daily outings. I did, however, make the mistake of talking to her again the next time I saw her (in the yogurt aisle she had referred me to) as if we had never ended our conversation from five minutes earlier. She stared at me blankly for a few seconds before realizing I was the old guy that asked about yogurt a few minutes ago – an exchange that was clearly dismissed from her memory right away – until I shared my surprise at the ridiculously large selection of yogurt brands and options… and again asked for help in finding the specific yogurt brand I was sent for. I then realized that, in her eyes, I looked exactly the same as all those other old men wandering alone aimlessly around the store. Score one point for — oldest man of the year.
- I had another missing item from my list but I wasn’t about to ask for her help again. So, I wandered up and down the aisles, this time looking for pudding snack cups – without knowing if it was refrigerated or not and without finding it near the boxed pudding mixes in the aisle labelled “pudding”. I gave up and asked for assistance from another worker, who apparently viewed me immediately the same as the other helpless old men – so much so that he walked me directly to the snack pack location rather than sending me off with directions to be followed. Score another point for — oldest man of the year, in the same day even.
I have the McDonald’s app on my phone – mainly for getting discounts on coffee (probably reason enough to be considered an old man) and for occasional breakfast sandwiches when I’m out and about early. One additional benefit of the app is that I get to choose a free item from a limited list for my birthday (or within the next week actually). A few days after my birthday this year, I was driving to Ohio to drop my parents off with my sister (at approximately the half-way point) after they visited me in Indiana for a few days. After making the exchange, I stopped for gas in the car and went through the McDonald’s drive-thru to use my birthday reward on a free sandwich. When I pulled up to the window, the teenaged-looking girl on the other side said “Would you like an ice cream for your birthday?” in a voice that I could only describe as one would typically use talking to their 90-year old great-grandpa. I was caught off-guard momentarily and then assumed her computer must have indicated this was a birthday reward. I responded with “No thanks, I’m good.” She paused briefly appearing a little confused and then replied (using the same voice) with “Well you have a good day anyway!”. As I pulled forward to the 2nd window, I replayed the conversation in my head and came to the realization that she did NOT say “Would you like an ice cream for your birthday?” but instead had said “Do I see on my screen it’s your birthday?” – to which I had replied “No thanks, I’m good”. Her puzzled look made complete sense to me then. Score another point for — oldest man of the year.
Per my count, that’s 2 points for ‘husband of the year’ and 3 points for ‘oldest man of the year’… like the score you get shooting baskets these days… well, in my day, there wasn’t a 3-point line and shooters had to earn points by making more baskets… kids today set scoring records left and right with points handed out like candy instead of working for it…. and did you know that milk used to be delivered to the front porch… now, where was I. Oh yea, I’m old and retired, and, apparently, to others… I actually do LOOK old and retired.
next blog entry…
[2/25/25] Let me tell you a few things about my Dad…
previous blog entry…
[8/16/24] Exactly one year ago, I retired… (part 4)
RetiredInIndiana 